I love the Bible. I love my time in prayer. There are, however, times when it seems that I’m not “getting through.” If that makes sense? So, I turn to not only a hobby of mine, but a passion to rescue me from the thought of abandoning the pursuit all together. Music!
Music has been more than an outlet for me, rather a vein of communication between God and I. There are just times after you’ve had your time in the Scriptures and you’re had your time in prayer that have to sit and listen. Times of devotion should never be a monologue, but a dialogue between creation and Creator. Listen to what the Lord of Heaven and Earth would say to you. So after the Word and Praying I still feel as if not communicated in the manor I should so, I sit at the piano.
I believe there are times we forget we are emotional creatures. Beings with feelings for acceptance, love, validation etc. I truly believe that we forget that we can bring those emotions with us into our time of prayer. The psalmist did it and showed us that we can be “real” with God. Lay it all on the table in it’s raw and unfiltered state. If you’re pissed, tell Him about it. If you’re fearful, tell Him. He can handle us! The piano is my way of Just being real with Him.
From the time the first note is played to the conclusion of whatever I’m playing weather it be improvised or an actual score, it’s another level of real. There are times when I can’t stop the tears from flowing as my fingers dance across the keys, and that’s okay because it’s me being real! It’s me pulling of the mask of religious piety and being human before Him. Exposed and aware, it’s no longer a monologue or a dialogue…it’s worship! It’s adoration within the confines of a different medium from the words and antics. It’s just me and God.
So when the day is done and all my tasks are completed, I close my day the same what I opened it..with me, God, and my piano!
Life will hardly afford you anything; so whatever it gives you, cherish it. Almost six months ago I lost my best friend to a massive heart attack. Not even forty, still so much like ahead of him, pursuing his PhD, raising two beautiful children, planting a church in a matter of moments-Gone!
There are those rare friends you seldom find in life that become so close that the term friend would almost seem as an insult; rather the best term that would fit would be brother! This was him. The scriptures make reference to Jonathan and David and the bond they shared. I was blessed, for a short time to know that kind of relationship.
Truth be told, I’ll probably never have another friend like him or friendship like the one I had with him. But, I can say with assurance that he taught me how to be a friend. He taught me how to be a friend and love regardless of”_____.” Fill in the blank.
So, real talk; every day that I reach over to send him a text. Each day I try to call him. Every time I sit to write him an email and the sudden realization sets it, it hurts like utter hell! Not the throbbing kind of hurt, but the stinging kind of hurt. Like a bee sting to the soul. The apostle Paul said “the sting of death is sin.” He was right, but we who are on this side of heaven feel the sting daily with the passing of a dear one.
Call me crazy if you will (you wouldn’t be the first), but even thought I’m “young” and have so much life ahead of me, there is still a part of me that longs for the day when Heaven will become a reality. A day when I can stand and see my savior and be joined with the saints of the ages and worship with perfect totality of my being. Knowing my friend will be there too, just sweetens the deal.
I’m a better man today because I met the friend of a life time. “A friend loves at all time.”- proverbs 17:17 He loved well!
I’ve contemplated for about a year now starting a blog. I finally got the courage to do just that. I hope to share with you who are reading the insights of just a normal guy, living a somewhat normal life. A life of faith, conviction, and just day to day struggles, oh and the rather eclectic oddities that I find myself dabbling in from time to time.
There is not much to me. I’m a minister, husband, student, bookworm, a struggler of same-sex-attraction, and more. In 2018, I dare to say that I’m normal. Oh, I forgot, I live in the Bible Belt of America. So, normal? Maybe. Maybe not. That’ll be for you to decide.
Let’s talk life. Let’s talk life without holding anything back. One of the greatest disservices we can do to one another is to fail at communicating. Let’s be honest. Let’s be truthful!
For over a year now, I battled weather or not I should even write, but the time is right and the time is now!